I want to be a consultant

You know, one of the many problems with this job is the fact that I don't get any respect from people. I am talented, interesting and committed to my work and despite the departure of my wife some years ago to set up house with a much younger man, I can still hold my head high.

I was out for a walk last night - just down to the ferry when a young man rushed past me on his bicycle shouting, "Dave Thomson is a wanker - all planners are wankers!" It was just Hamish from the office but it made me think. What if I had been driving a Porsche or a Mercedes like all consultants have? Somebody told me that they leave their good cars a few miles away and get taxis or the bus into Auchterness so that people won't think they are earning too much money.

We had a guy up from one of the big consultancies last week. You know, I'm sure he wanted to employ me although he probably felt I was looking for a job with him. Nobody would call him a wanker - that's for sure. I'm sure he was wearing a Marks and Spencer suit - really classy. I think that's my future and I feel warm and happy when I think about how people will start to respect me as a top town planner.