Monday, 30 December 2013

The Boy's Christmas Present

The boy's Christmas present from 'Grandad'
You know, I'm too softhearted sometimes. I bought the boy I quodcopter for his Christmas although it wasn't the expensive one that he really wanted and though it has a video camera it wasn't the £300 thing that he desired. I wrapped it up carefully and with great pride delivered it through the usual intermediary to the 'family home' - about 30 minutes drive from here.

I thought he would be pleased but apparently he complained that it wasn't the expensive one - the ungrateful little swine.

But worse was to come. On Christmas Day they went to a local park, or green space as we expert planners say, to try it out. My beautiful wife and her young lover actually set aside their carnal activities for once to take the boy out - as a family so to speak. The boy and his 'father' lost control of the quadcopter on it's first flight - it rose high into the air and the wind carried it away. It crashed onto the main road next to the park and was run over by a taxi - it was reduced to smithereens. Even worse, the boy apparently threw a stone at the taxi in his rage - there wasn't really any damage but the matter was reported to the police by the taxi driver - who was a woman.

Now the boy is blaming me for what happened. Ach well - I really don't care. Ochone Ochone - as they say up the road. I'm sure he only wanted it to hover outside girls bedroom windows and take videos. We will become closer again when he is a bit older - he will maybe call me Dad again instead of Grandad. Actually to look on the positive side, I have escaped this difficult period of his upbringing and a fair punishment has been visited on his keepers - if they could take a bit of time out from the pleasures of the flesh to notice.

Anyway this is probably my last post of 2013. I'm happy to be back writing again and all the abuse, criticism and insults I get just make me stronger and more able to say what I really think in 2014. I hope you and yours all have a happy Hogmanay and I'll be back soon with my New Year message and some more fascinating news, opinion pieces and exciting insights into the world of the expert town planner. Oh and 'thought pieces' too! 

Cheeriebye for now.

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