You know, I'm well known for my tolerance but some people just push me too far. And here we are - things have descended to a very low level, haven't they? I received this Christmas Gift of moist toilet wipes from someone in the office on Christmas Eve. It came with a card that read:
"Dear Dave,
I thought long and hard about what to get you in the Secret Santa
and eventually decided that this was
perfect for you.
It is meant for arseholes and you fit the bill perfectly.
I hope you enjoy using these".
from Secret Santa
Now while I think this was meant to be some kind of joke, I have ordered a rigorous investigation and have demanded a full report into how this could have taken place and who was responsible. I hope office funds were not used in making this ridiculous purchase as there are very complex procurement regulations governing all such acquisitions. As far as I am aware, Auchterness has no purchasing arrangement with Tesco although of course we would be very happy to look at building a relationship with such a prestigious supplier, possibly including a sponsored roundabout.
I know this is the season of goodwill but there is a limit to the amount of abuse and criticism I can take. Regular readers will be familiar with the appalling insults I receive by email as well as the many generous offers of pills, friendship and sexual services from inappropriate individuals. I can cope with all this but to think that someone in Auchterness would stoop to the same level is very upsetting. I was so upset yesterday that I placed a mince pie on the kitchen floor and stamped on it repeatedly. It was just a nuisance clearing up the mess though.
Happy Boxing Day everyone - hope you are having a great time.
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