Bad for me - good for Donald!

You know I can scarcely believe that so many months have passed since I last wrote on these pages. I could say that I'd lost my password again but if the truth be told, my career hasn't been going in the direction I had hoped and I've been rather depressed what with the bad summer and the news that my wife is about to have a child with another man. Another thing is the constant war against graffiti in the office - you know I like to keep everything clean but recently somone wrote this in the gents toilet - completely disgraceful. I feel so cast down as I look at this and all the other revolting garbage written on walls in our wee Auchterness.

I had thought about offering myself up for election to the Scottish Chapter of the Institute this year. Someone said it was a good idea and I had a number of supporters drawn from public sector organisations and of course the private sector through a well known international firm of consultants. But at the end of the day, these Institute guys are all losers aren't they? They exist to fill up the Planner with boring trash - I NEVER OPEN IT! - did you know that Mr President Whoever You Are? I'll bet most of the members don't know who the President is - I certainly don't. But the Scottish Chapter is far worse - mouth-breathers! Their little journal is recycled without being opened - straight in the bin. So I guess it wasn't right for me to join them - well maybe I wouldn't have been elected despite my strong record of rural regeneration.

I was delighted to see that Donald Trump has rightfully won his case to cart off that load of sand at Balmenie and make the place into a nice clean golf resort without any nasty newts or toads eyeing you up as you are about to take that important putt. Well done Donald and best wishes to your lovely flagrant wife! Your lucky to have a young wife - but you deserve it for being so clever and visionary!