The Sunday Herald, Trump and the RTPI

You know, there's another ridiculous article in the Sunday Herald today about the latest fuss around the Greatest Golf Course in the World. I walked down to the wee shop before breakfast and by the time I got back with the paper I was so angry I had thrown away the sports section and the colour magazine.

Apparently the Royal Town Planning Institute (RTPI aka the Goons in London), which represents 22,000 town planners in the UK (including me unfortunately) is examining a complaint that "Dr Christine Gore, director of planning for Aberdeenshire Council, failed to act with integrity and independence while handling Mr Trump’s application for a £1 billion luxury golf resort".

Well if you believe the RTPI are having an enquiry then you will believe anything - they are busy extracting as much cash as possible from their membership and can't afford to alienate anyone with an enquiry. After all there is a plush London office to maintain and decent salaries with company cars to pay for.

But the point here is that every good planner colludes with developers to get things moving - it's the only way to make any progress. And the main reason they collude with developers is that they want a better job - usually with the developers. Yes, they want to get out of local government as quickly as possible! I can't understand why anyone thinks there is anything wrong with this or that it is unusual in any way. In other words this is another non-story dreamed up by the gutter press to besmirch the good name of Donald Trump and his lovely family. Today I'm ashamed of Scotland - again.

ps - these great images are from www.zimbio.com, Photos by Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images Europe.

The nasty side of Sccotland

You know, this blogging business isn't easy for someone with a sensitive disposition - like myself. Over the past two months, since I've been bringing people the good news about important developments around Scotland, I've been subjected to a stream of abuse and flames, some in comments but most of it in emails accusing me of all sorts of things. This culminated in a ticking off from Graham Stewart of BBC Radio Scotland about my reaction to his programme on the Great Donald Trump. Also, I was advised that I had a place reserved for me up against the wall come the revolution as a result of my article about Union Terrace Gardens.

I've been very busy for the past week which has kept my mind off this as well as the heartbreaking goings on with my lovely wife and her young lover. To be honest, I've thought of giving it all up but I always come back to the unmistakable truth. Scotland is on the brink of a New Enlightenment fuelled by enterprise, innovation and property development driven by Donald Trump, Sir Ian Wood, Clydeport, Forth Ports, Peel Holdings, Asda and Halfords- truly Scotland is open for business. Many people don't seem to realise the importance of this and live in a dwam - others such as the wasters, gypsies, unemployed and farmers living in their railway carriages, black houses and butt-and-bens throughout the land just want to ruin everything through delay and opposition. Still, a lot of them managed to climb out of their begging bowls to phone the BBC recently - though I believe this was not orchestrated by Graham Stewart, who is not a communist.

Anyway I have an important article to write on Donald Trump, Aberdeenshire Council and the RTPI - as well as preparing the online voting for the Auchterness Oskars later this month - so I will get on with that. Thanks to everyone for their support and interest.

Radio Scotland - enough is enough!

You know, I'm absolutely furious with BBC Radio Scotland and their presenter Graham Stewart, who is probably a conservationist - or worse. I heard part of the programme about the Menie development on Friday morning but stormed out of my house after a few minutes, slamming the door behind me. Of course I'd locked myself out which made things worse.

So I've been trying to write a new post about other important matters of the day but every time I sit down at the computer I can only think of this disgraceful broadcast which tried to besmirch not only the good name of The Great Donald Trump but also his son Donald Trump Jnr, a man who drives a tractor with style and panache! People in the office say I'm obsessed with the Trump development but it's just a healthy concern for the economic development of Scotland and the part that we town planners can play in it. At the same time, I know if I had a more settled home life I could maybe take it all in my stride.

It seems clear to me that the BBC is completely opposed to this fantastic development. Their strategy seems to have been to assemble queues of wasters and layabouts at public telephone kiosks around the country to phone in a deluge of insults and one-sided economic and environmental arguments that don't hold any water. Now the purpose of this escapes me given that work is already underway and soon the Great Donald Trump himself will tee-off, celebrating a total victory over the inbred luddites of Aberdeenshire and the once treacherous sands of Menie which he will have tamed.

I'm shocked that some people have attacked Donald on a very personal basis. I know for a fact that as a Scotsman, an architect, a developer and entrepreneur par excellence, he is set on achieving the very best for the country. He is also kind and considerate - for example I heard recently that one day when he was out horse-riding near the family home in Stornoway, he came across a bird with a broken wing lying beside the road. He took the bird in his large hands, comforted it, sheltered it inside his riding jacket and took it home. At enormous cost, he flew specialist veterinary assistance from the mainland to his home and within weeks, the bird was able to continue on its journey.

That's the sort of man who is subject to all this vilification. Radio Scotland! You should be very ashamed!

Trump tees off - with Pampas Grass!

You know, the sheer brilliance and ingenuity of my hero the Great Donald Trump never ceases to amaze me. Flying in the face of the gypsies and thieves camped out on the site of what will be the Greatest Golf Course in the World, Donald has set about stabilising the useless sand dunes that harbour midges, newts and other pests that may distract the golfer on his way round God's Own Golf Course.

But guess what he is using? Maybe I've given the game away to you gardening types who will know the answer immediately. Yes - Pampas Grass! Fantastic! Now this is highly technical work - sand dunes can move and are quite dangerous in the wrong hands. They can destroy a golf course in certain wind conditions and can even envelope tees, a fairway or even a golfer himself, so it's entirely appropriate that this problem is dealt with before the first round is played. Pampas grass is the recognised answer to this problem.

But this is not just to do with technical issues - there is the question of style. No one will want to play on a golf course that looks like a stretch of old sand dunes with bits of fields in between so Donald and his servile architect Gareth Hopkins have come up with the idea of coloured Pampas Grass. This is a fantastic innovation and I must admit I'm beginning to see the value in using this guy Hopkins - if it his idea of course. Pink will bring a touch of colour too and of course it reminds me of the expensive negligee I bought my lovely wife in happier times. But pure suburban style from Donald and his team.

My final word on this tremendous news for Aberdeenshire and for all the inbred loons living in old railway coaches and black houses around Menie is that soon your pockets will be bulging with cash as the trickle-down effect of Trump's goodness flows into your bank accounts. Jobs in table service, polishing shoes, washing cars and clearing drains will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. Fantastic! This is regeneration in action and a great victory for Scottish Town Planners.

Sponsorship pays off for the Scottish Planner

As my regular readers will know, I was mightily impressed with the new format for the Scottish Planner which came out in February of this year in a bi-monthly format - and in colour! For those of you who are unfortunate enough not to be qualified in town planning, the Scottish Planner - or the Journal of the RTPI in Scotland as it is subtitled - is usually an opportunity to keep up to date with the mind-dumbingly tedious gossip around the few folk who run the show in Scotland. But it also features articles by some of the greatest thinkers of our time - hardened professionals tempered by the fires of regeneration and property development.

In the current issue, the great Italian Planner Stefano Smith, Regional Director for Development and Design (Scotland and Ireland) at Halcrow Group Ltd, (what an impressive job title!) considers the next wave of business parks which will sweep over the economic landscape in the next few years, destroying small businesses and carving away at outmoded neighbourhoods like a knife through butter. This is a spanking article and a must-read in which planning in Dubai is mentioned - more than once! Halcrow really know what they are doing here and I'm filled with admiration for their deep dynamic thinking, their appreciation of transcendent themes and their blinding strategic innovation. I can't wait to see some real evidence of this on the ground, particularly in some of Scotland's smaller towns which have been waiting to be swept away like this for many years.

Now there is another important point here worth mentioning. Halcrow are sponsors of the Scottish Planner with Biggart Baillie LLP and together they have published an article in each of the issues since the new format was announced - three from Halcrow and two from Biggart Baillie. Some of my colleagues think this is corrupt and shameful - they are entitled to their opinion. Well my message to them is, "Let's have more please!" More news about business parks and less gossip and tittle-tattle will suit me fine. It is great that Halcrow have seized the moment and found a way to get their abundant skills across to the great unwashed of local council planners before other less worthy firms get a look-in. A great piece of work and my hearty congratulations to all those involved in this.

Glasgow Harbour leaves London reeling

No doubt you are all agog this week with the news that planning permission has been granted for a colossal £1.2bn retail and leisure development at Glasgow Harbour. To say I'm excited is of course an understatement - I am literally trembling with anticipation as I write this. Glasgow City Council has dealt London a critical blow by clearing the way for this fabulous proposal designed to make Peel Holdings and Clydeport even more incredibly rich - no bad thing considering that the quality of their existing development at Glasgow Harbour has been recognised as having changed the course of regeneration across the globe. Peel and Clydeport deserve every accolade for this outstanding project. So Glasgow will have more shopping malls than London once the doors of this beauty are open, knocking the UK capital for six in the retail Top of the Pops.

Glasgow City Council is a partner in the Glasgow Harbour project and of course has given itself permission for this development as we would expect - Wee Alex Salmond's folk just have to rubber stamp it though this will be a formality. Local retailers have predictably greeted this proposal with howls of protest but of course they will be the first to start filling up the shop units.

Just a few comments from my expert town planning perspective. This will be one of a new breed of retail centres where there is little or no public transport - like Braehead just across the river, it will be unique. So it's possible that the traditional city centre will become a twilight zone for an underclass of shoppers using buses, trains or the subway while normal people drive to Glasgow Harbour or Braehead - this is positive and reflects concerns about today's inclusiveness agenda and providing for minority groups. There's something for everyone in today's exciting retail offer!

Of course there is the subway station at Partick Cross (run by the amazing set up called SPT who I have praised before). No one is going to use that to get to Glasgow Harbour - well you can see how busy it is in the nice wee photie above. Likewise the so called Fastlink LRT system will never happen - that is just a clever invention by Clydeport to keep the planning application looking good to quiche-eating objectors, beggars and layabouts who want to derail the project. Another transport option is boats on the river and it's possible that in the future, some will sail to shop at Glasgow Harbour as the perspective below shows.

Personally I can't wait for this project to happen. It's a truly great proposal and reflects well on Glasgow City Council town planners for their vision and the breathtaking intellectual powers they have brought to bear on the Clyde's Regeneration. No wonder cities around the world are looking at Glasgow and saying, "Why didn't we do that?"

Ferry Village and Renfrew Riverside

One of the sparkling jewels in the crown of Glasgow's Clyde Waterfront regeneration is Renfrew Riverside. You can see in the wee photo above that it's like a scene from Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica. Braehead Shopping Centre and the Xscape look like UFOs that have landed in a car park - or perhaps they were shot down by one of the Royal Navy's finest destroyers in the course of refitting at BAE Systems across the river in Scotstoun! Either way, Welcome to the Clyde aliens!

I don't need to say much about Braehead that hasn't been said already - really, one of Scotland's top shopping centres and warm congratulations to the team from Glasgow City Council for promoting this golden nugget of retail heaven which includes Ikea, Comet, PC World and even Halfords.

Now this time, retail isn't the whole story. There is a small park designed by Ian White Associates - famously the landscape architects for the SECC just up river and what a splendid job they made of laying out the tarmac around that memorable work of architectural brilliance. Ian is a big favourite of property developers who want a simple low cost solution that doesn't get in the way of the buildings or car parks - he really bends over the drawing board to accommodate the biggest developers and is very much sought after.

But one of the star attractions for me is Ferry Village. The beautiful hand rendered drawing above by genius architects Young and Gault tells the whole story of untrampled loveliness envisioned for the future. This is an area around the Renfrew Ferry which once had a collection of derelict huts, ugly sheds and the like that used to be home to many small businesses and craftsman industries involved in repairing and storing boats. Doubtless there were also many scroungers and vagrants from Yoker - stowaways on the Renfrew Ferry - who had settled there in cardboard boxes, potentially spoiling the view from luxury flats.

Now with amazing foresight, the developers realised that this was undesirable in a waterfront regeneration scheme and got Clydeport (the dynamic team responsible for so much that is new and good on the Clyde) to kick them out, paving the way for some very attractive flats that will instantly appeal to the buy-to-rent market, divorced women and other people on social security. Called the Anchorage, this is a place of singular beauty and luxury - even though someone in the office said the interior looked like a bordello. The landscaping is simple and delightful as you can see below - eat your heart out Capability Brown!

It seems obvious to me that small businesses have no place on waterfronts of World Renown and it's ridiculous for people to kick up a fuss over their eviction. But the real twist in the tail is that having got rid of one second rate boatyard, there are now plans to have a proper marina nearby that will be exclusive and posh. That is lateral thinking and Edward de Bono himself would be proud of all the guys behind this incredibly clever and beautiful development. Isn't Scottish town planning truly magnificent?