You know sometimes I think I should just shut up. Since I started featuring some of the disgusting graffiti that pollutes our lovely wee Auchterness, some people have started a campaign of personal abuse against me. This is a photo I took of the executive bathroom the other week - someone with the keys to the toilet must have done this and I think I know who it is. It just goes to show that having a clean mind and respect for property counts for nothing these days. I've written to the Institute down in London about this but they won't do anything of course - they never do unless someone threatens to take away their company cars or some other perk that they shouldn't have anyway. I will continue to expose these unprofessional practices and one day I will catch the perpetrator of these deeds redhanded!
On other fronts there is nothing much to report. There is absolutely no evidence of recession here in beautiful Auchterness and life goes on at a cracking pace. We've let a tender for the repainting of the public toilet and it looks as though we are going to get a new bus stop at the end of the access road to the town - that will mean a walk of about two miles but this will encourage people to leave their cars at home. But the big news is that we've been told to expect a visit from Royalty fairly soon - I think this may be to do with me appearing in the New Year Honours but I may be wrong. We will see. I would love to meet Charlie - but Camilla will do, even if as Mohammed Al-Fayed said, she looks like a crocodile.
None of my job applications has come to anything - I think this is just a temporary hitch and the offers will flood in soon. I do feel a little bit left on the shelf though - along with all the consultants' reports that I've commissioned that are gathering dust waiting on the local council to say if they like them or not. Still even my hero Donald Trump has his off days! He is a constant source of inspiration to me. Donald and his lovely young wife can visit me any time - we'll have a nice we cup of tea and talk about his Scottish roots in the Hebrides.
Hope to write more soon when the good news starts arriving!
5 comments:
Hi Dave, its Jeannie here again,so sad to read about the grafitty, theres no respect nowadays, I swear if I see anyones wrote stuff about you I'll do time. Sure youll hear soon about a job, i dunno what things have come to,theres no justice. lol jeannie with the dyed brown hair
Thanks Jeannie - it's kind of you to comment. I really appreciate your interest and support. May I ask if you have a boyfriend or husband?
Dear Dave, I'm really shocked to read this. There are bad people around who don't like you to speak your mind. But please continue fighting! They will eventually find out that you just want the best for Auchterness.
And I'm pretty sure that you'll find a job - now that even famous people are interested in visiting your nice town.
All the best to you - Anja
Thanks Anja - you're a star. I wouldn't survive without the support of nice we housewives like you. I'll try to post more often in the next we while. - cheers, Dave
I don't know what's happened to my keyboard today - I meant to say, "I wouldn't survive without the support of nice wee housewives like you. I'll try to post more often in the next wee while.
I think some loon has glued down my 'e' key with masking tape. It's great working here you know.
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