Saturday 19 October 2013

Fat Planners and their new Journal

Fat Planners at large
Fat Planners at large
You know, I was in the executive toilet the other day looking through the piles of discarded newspapers and product journals next to the throne and guess what I came across? That's right - 'The Planner - The Business Monthly for Planning Professionals', October 2013. It's the new version of the old Planning magazine that ceased publication a couple of months back as no one was reading it.

The Fat Boys' Magazine

The new Journal is very glossy and runs to about sixty pages in length. The first thing that struck me was that it is full of fat people. Grey fat middle aged men to be precise with cheap suits, shirts and ties - this is the face of planning in 2013. There isn't a cheerful green corduroy suit in sight - like mine!  There are many photies of big men who don't let the pangs of hunger go unanswered.  Even the President of the RTPI himself!  I suppose he has to go to a lot of dinners with other fat people so he's caught in a vicious expanding waistline syndrome. Actually I thought Wee Craigie McLaren was the RTPI President but I'm obviously completely wrong - he just isn't fat enough.

There are only two very brief mentions of Scotland in the new Journal - a passing reference to a tidal turbine project in the Pentland Firth and a nice we feature by our own wee Nikola Miller. That's it! The rest is all about England and Wales, pictures of George Osborne and comment and opinion from creatures like Colin Haystack - a previous leader of the goons - and talk of 'Our Nation'. It seems Scotland is independent already - or just ignored because we have our own splendid journal in The Scottish Planner? Who knows?

I wasn't impressed with this publication. It is full of self-serving people who do nothing but give planning a bad name. No wonder people hate planners. Fat men in suits. Full of themselves and full of food.

7 comments:

Richard Heggie said...

I see Beyonce has taken up the Alex Salmond diet with some success - do you think planners should do the same?

Dave Thompson said...

Hello there Richard
Thanks for dropping by and contributing to the debate! She's a fine looking woman isn't she and it's good that Wee Alex is no longer Wee Fat Alex. We need inspiring leadership from the Institute but we are not getting it. Weight is an issue so planners should try the Beyonce diet but greed and stupidity may be involved too.

Yours in planning

Dave T

Richard Heggie said...

I'm surprised at your criticism of the BUFTY-award winning 'Planning' magazine, Dave.
It almost persuaded me and many others to up sticks and become an agent of the southern investment fraternity, pushing overpriced figs around a lunch plate while destroying communities and calculating the value of the day's house price rise.
That's REAL planning.....as you should well know.

Dave Thompson said...

Of course going south is something that many people do - especially if they live in the slums of the central belt. It is less common in the north east where the glittering riches of clever people in Aberdeen have created a world city of renown. I would consider it an act of treachery if a member of my staff moved to lick milk with the fat cats in London - we can do real planning here and push figs around lunch plates!

Dave T

Richard Heggie said...

Ahh.....the London of the north!

Richard Heggie said...

I see Aberdeen has competition....
http://www.urbanrealm.com/news/4457/Glasgow’s_£220m_Washington_Exchange_development_launched_.html

Dave Thompson said...

Thank you Richard

I hope to be down in Glasgow for an important meeting in the next couple of weeks and will look at the glorious IFSD - I'm sure this isn't a threat to Aberdeen but my unbiased coverage of the proposal will be useful

Dave T