Monday, 29 July 2013

I'm back!

Allan Henderson - famous Aberdeen business man
I'll bet you didn't expect this - I'm back with renewed enthusiasm and expert insight into the world of town planning.  Greetings from Auchterness to all my admirers. You know, I almost gave up my lovely wee blog but so many things have been happening recently that have brought me back to the typewriter or should I say, keyboard.

I won't go into the reasons for my long absence - it's more constructive to talk about the present and the future.  Yes I am well thank you and really nothing has changed - my beautiful wife is still shacked up with her young lover and I see the boy, rather more than I would like to.

Anyway I went to the toilet at my usual time this morning and as I was making myself comfortable on the Executive Thunderbox, I spotted a Daily Record from last week on the floor. A significant article from last Thursday caught my eye.  It's the story of Allan Henderson, an Aberdeen based entrepreneur with 'wealth off the scale' - fantastic!  It was a transformational experience for me - this man is a golfer, a barman and an inspiration - and I knew I had to give him the oxygen of publicity on this world famous stage. He was responsible for The Stag - one of Aberdeen's new breed of spit and sawdust bars on Union Street where drunks gather on a Friday night to kick each others' heads in.  That's not far from Union Terrace Gardens of course but more about that in a future post!

Now like any businessman worth his salt - and here I have to mention the Great Dr Donald Trump, the Imperious Sir Ian Wood, Wee Dr Stewartie Milne and Sir Ewan Jamieson of Clydeport - Sir Allan is clearly intent on culture change and using his abundant wealth for the benefit of the local populous.  He wants to regenerate Union Street - great stuff! I'm sure one of the ideas will be a string of Pound Shops selling packs of cheap razor blades to farmers wives across the north east to help keep their hairy knees in check.

Allan's article is full of great advice for people who are, let's be honest, hopeless at most things. It's aimed at local government town planners - yes members of the Royal Town Planning Institute - and other welfare sectors of the scrounging society.

Isn't it just great when successful people give the losers a piece of advice?  Allan has worked in many different sectors - from the sandwich industry (white bread, margarine and strawberry jam) to rubbing shoulders with property magnets - so like many farmers in the north east, he knows his onions when it comes to the food industry. The key message is that a passion for money is the same as civic good and the story of how he made his millions is enough to make most local government officers deeply ashamed of their jobs for life.  You have to read this - it is a thriller!

He's a good looking lad isn't he? - even if he looks a little crazy in this picture.  This is a fantastic story of a local boy made good and happy to distribute some of his largesse to the plebs that hang about the wonderful city centre of the dynamo of Scotland's economy.  He's obviously well connected to the world of town planning using phrases like 'huge impact', 'transforming two eyesores' (why not three?), 'engage with his fellow independent business owners', 'the main artery of the city' and 'a culture of everyone working together'.  It's fantastic when the business community start to pick up the language that we planners know and understand and it bodes well for the future.

My hearty congratulations to Sir Allan and the Daily Record - such a prestigious newspaper - on writing this wonderful article and I strongly recommend him to the planners in Aberdeen City Council.  They would do well to take him on board as an independent advisor on planning matters (though they should consider me first of course).


Anonymous said...

So you've come back you little cunt. You snivelling little insect with your absolutely nauseating tales of rich bampots, I hope you die soon.

Dave Thompson said...

Thanks Anonymous and welcome back. It's great to have an open discussion isn't it but I'm not sure about your language

Yours in planning

Dave T

Anonymous said...

Let's just say that Scotland will be a much better place when you are not in it. Any normal person would be embarrassed to write such utter shite - I'm cringing even at the thought of it.

Iain McLaren said...

Dear Dave

My friend Michael Hart pointed his article out to me - apparently his wife met you recently in Inverness and thought you were a complete idiot. Reading this article I can only agree.

What on earth possessed you to write such rubbish? Do you not realise for one moment that this new favourite guy of yours is just another arsehole from Aberdeen with the wrong idea - a very wrong idea?

Did you know that you can get expert help and counselling for a wide range of problems? We live in the 21st century and you don't have to face multiple issues of impending divorce, a badly brought up son and an obsequious attitude to folk with money alone. Just ask for help Dave. Before it gets worse.


Iain McLaren

Dave Thompson said...

Dear Iain

Thanks for your comment. I'm very flattered that you have taken the time to comment on my article. Sorry you don't agree but also thanks for your advice - I will consider the options.

Yours in planning

Dave T

Tim R said...

Don't let the b*ds get you down Dave. They don't know what a hard time you had of late.

Keep telling it now it is. This proud country needs more like you.

Dave Thompson said...

Dear Tim R

Great to hear from you after such a long break. I won't let the BIDs get me down. Thanks for your support and best wishes to you and yours.

Yours in planning

Dave T

Theo said...