Monday, 5 December 2011

The true heart of Aberdeen

Sir Ian Wood's fantastic seat of power
You know, I meant to tell you about this a few weeks ago but somehow it slipped my mind. To be honest, I've been on the edge of my seat waiting for the results of the Union Terrace Gardens competition - in the full expectation that nothing short of the complete levelling of the existing gardens will triumph but sadly there is no news yet.

Meantime, I thought you would be fascinated and excited to read my report on the true beating heart of enterprise in Aberdeen. No it isn't Union Street - it vanished as a great part of town many years back. No it isn't Union Square either though it is certainly worth a big gold star in my little notebook. It's the headquarters of the Wood Group nestling in East Tullos Industrial Estate just across the railway from the slums of Torry. You can see the clever strategy at work here - baiting the plebs with a great view of rich people at work. David Cameron would be proud! This is the working home of Aberdeen's Giant of Enterprise, Economic Colossus and Patron of the Arts, Sir Ian Wood. This is where it all happens and it's the beating heart of the city.
reminiscent of the giant black stone slab in 2001 A Space Odyssey spot the monkeys
I drove down there in the autumn and boy was I excited! The first thing that struck me was the amazingly high standard of design - the elegant entrance sign, reminiscent of the giant black stone slab in 2001 A Space Odyssey that the monkeys gathered round. Same idea here but in silver and red. I expect that all employees will wear a uniform - and they will be proud to do so.

As an expert planner I was totally numbed by the extent of the surface car park - a truly great design - and so large that I could barely make out the headquarters building beyond. Fantastic! As I've said many times before, the size of a car park is in direct proportion to the virility of the designers and the success of the business attached to it. So the Wood Group are no slouches! As I peered through the security fencing I could just make out the stunning cream coloured walls and the rustic pitched roof of the offices. Amazing, or 'awesome' as the boy would say. I was perspiring and trembling with excitement.
a view over the vast car park
You know, once Sir Ian gets his hands on Union Terrace Gardens we are in for a real design treat. He is so obviously a man of great taste and judgement and entirely the best person to redesign the centre of Aberdeen, making a silk purse out of the sow's ear that is Union Terrace Gardens. So if the same talents in architecture, landscape design and town planning that laid out the Wood Group HQ are let loose on Union Terrace Gardens, Aberdeen will become one of the design centres of the World. Without question.

But meantime, let's try to be patient and see if there is any news this week - keep your eyes peeled for an announcement in the Press and Journal! I know it's a terrible newspaper but it's cheap and it loves Dr Donald and Sir Ian so buy it!


Anonymous said...

(Dont forget to mention the bonny trees and the speed calming measures...Or are they craters)
I am surprised 'Visit Scotland' are not using these images to entice more plebs to this energy heaven.

Dave Thompson said...

Thanks Anonymous - these are all present and correct! I'm sure this area will become a honeypot for tourists in the near future when the magnificence and generosity of Sir Ian becomes apparent to everyone. Not to mention his talent as a designer.

Yours in planning

Dave T

Anonymous said...

MMmm, just noticed that massive hulk in Perth is finally going to the knackers yard. Thank God. Now the thing is 220,000 peasants will be asked a question about a poxy garden in Aberdeen. What will the lepers do I wonder?
Well it doesn’t matter does it? Because the set designers for Blake 7 will have a ‘trip’ feeding their old school army of High Street Alchemists with visions and promises.
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