Monday, 10 January 2011

The Forfar Bridie versus proper food

a revolting Forfar Bridie served on its own
You know, there's a really juicy piece of news around in the welfare town of Forfar at the moment. I was alerted to this by my personal copy of Bell and Scott's sector review which arrived in my inbox at lunchtime. Apparently it's another case of a group of locals unwilling to bow to the inevitable and acknowledge that traditional ways of shopping are history. All this angst and hand wringing has been brought about because a multi-million-pound Asda superstore has been given the planning green light after town councillors found themselves out on a limb in opposing the development. So long old shops! Your time is up! Fantastic!!

The supermarket giant hailed approval for a store which they hope will create more than 250 jobs, bring in a £20 million-plus annual turnover and take the trade war to rival Tesco, which it has been claimed is scooping up more than 70% of Forfar's shopping spend. Well it won't create 250 jobs - that is just window dressing - but the principle of the survival of the fittest, the up and coming monumental battle between Tesco and Asda (our modern day giants of retail) and the destruction of old shops owned by old people selling unpalatable food is completely sound in my view. So the Forfar Bridie won't be featuring in Asda's plans. It too will be history and not before time. That's another box ticked!

But wait - there's more! Now Asda are a canny bunch of operators - and I'm very fond of their sausages - so when it came to planning gain, they got away with only £38,000 worth of landscaping and road improvements. Considering how much money they will make from the store it's got to be one of the best bargains so far in 2011. So much for the Council planners fighting for the best result for Forfar - they were maybe keen to get a job at Asda. After all, their own jobs will disappear soon.

A final point. I haven't seen the drawings for this proposal but I'm certain that it will be a thing of great beauty. A crisp metal-clad box glinting in the sunshine and sending out rays of retail goodwill to Forfar's destitute populace and extending further afield to the droves of English hippies living in black houses and old railway carriages throughout the miserable Angus countryside. Forfar will now jump straight from the 19th century to the 21st century - an amazing achievement. So a gold star and 9/10 points in my new notebook - plus a big tick.

9 comments:

www.socialenterprisesouthlanarkshire.co.uk said...

its about time, tesco has a monopoly in the area and needs to be stopped

Dave Thompson said...

There's nothing like a bit of competition! - Dave T

Andy said...

I cant believe a "semi intelligent" man like you can be so short sighted as too lambast the dissapearance of traditional ways. ( the bridie and the shops )
allbiet that progress must go on it is a poor town planner who cant see that a community will cease to be a community if its personality is whitlled away by inpersonal companies and international orginisations.
It seems to me that you have very little insight into the mind of the working man. And that includes those working men who find thereselves on benefits due to no fault of there own.
But how satisfying it must be for you to sit in your ivory tower pouring scorn and distain on the public who you treat as second class citizens below your standing.
If your attitude is common of town planners in this country then i pray you all tire of ruining our wonderfull country and bugger of down south where your skills will be welcomed!

Dave Thompson said...

Hello Andy

Thanks for joining in the debate. I think we have to face up to new futures with town centres and shopping patterns that are very different from what they were. I don't actually want to bugger off down south though I know plenty of planners who either want to or should.

All the best to you

Dave T

Giuseppe Carbone said...

I bow to your utter ignorance of good life and taste. You're a champion, probably the result of mixing a yuppy and a moneylaunder...
Supermarkets are good for families and poeples with high mobility capacity, but the majority mof the population is now retired (despite the usual speculators like yourself are trying to keep them working until they die!), and as such, the local shops are an invaluable part of their life.
Go back to school and learn some social basic! I am not Scottish, but surely I found Forfar (and Brechin, Kirrimuir, Montrose...) one of the most attractive small town in the UK, and it would be a shame if peoples as you will be given free hands to make it a standardized McDonalds rubbish!

Dave Thompson said...

Hello Giuseppe

Good to hear from you and thanks for all your positive comments about Forfar. It's good to hear that someone likes it and is sticking up for it.

Best wishes in planning

Dave T

Anonymous said...

Hello, I'm a literary agent and son of a Forfar family responsible for the Bridie, so you wouldn't expect me to entirely agree with your views. But I find your writing entertaining having glanced at some of your other posts too. I found my way to you by accident googling bridies as you to when they're in your heritage. I am an estranged Scot however, resident in England for nearly 30 years, my family connections with Forfar almost lost until recently. What interested me was your comment that Forfar is a welfare town. What does this mean exactly? I can get the drift but underlying it is a wealth of detail about why such towns in Scotland are as they are. I'd like to know more about your thoughts on this, and wonder if we could be in touch. As a literary agent I'm also interested in your writing and wondering what you plan to do with it in the longer term. You surely have a sense of humour that I like.

I can be contacted at saddlerliterary@yahoo.co.uk

I hope to hear from you
John Saddler

Dave Thompson said...

Hello there John

Thanks for contributing to my lovely wee blog. Sorry if my comments on Forfar have caused offence but it's important to take a strong line with these old towns.

Yours in planning

Dave T

ps I will drop you a line

Anonymous said...

Dave

Just seen this

You're an arsehole.

That is all

btw Forfar is doing just fine even WITH its shiny new ASDA

Better than the shithole you no doubt hail from. Or are you one of the thousands of self deluding glue sniffers who think Weegland is nowadays a contemporary, stylish global city as opposed to a giant disgusting, filthy overhyped toilet of a place where junkies rule the streets and good architecture was given the last rites a century ago?

When you emigrate can you take all of the other town planners with you please?

Cheers

Andy fae Arbroath

Also a shithole thanks to planners who, many years ago, thought sticking a dual carriageway right through the town centre was a REALLY good idea