A Planner's Bumper Fun Book #2 - Wind Farms

You know, a lot of local authority planners get their knickers in a twist about wind farms - trying to block them in order to justify their pathetic existences. Well, a lot of planners in the private sector make a lot of money out of wind farms and I could name one who dines out on his retainer every week. Also a lot of people make money out of having wind farms on their land. So there we are - three compelling arguments for wind farms and I've barely started!

Okay so let's look at one of the main issues here - impact on the landscape. Now in Scotland we are a modern nation - it's just over ten years since we got our own parliament. A modern nation needs a modern landscape - it's logical really - and what could be more modern than a hillside covered in shiny new windmills! You just need to look at the nice wee photie above to realise how much the original dreary landscape has been improved with these glistening whirling dervishes. Add to that the simple fact that money is being made with every revolution of those fine blades and you can see that any argument is futile.

It's another example of planners holding the wrong end of the stick, trying to refuse perfectly good proposals, forcing public enquiries and generally being negative in the face of the development industry. I'll bet not one of them has stood on a wind farm in gale force winds and heard the deafening roar, the terrified stampede of sheep or the sound of seagulls being whacked by the huge blades. My goodness you almost feel that the whole hillside is taking off - it's so exciting. But this is the sort of thing that planners, aided and abetted by conservationists, naturalists - and I'm sure nudists and other perverts - are trying to stop. It's a disgrace!

So next time you see a big story in the papers about the merits of this or that wind farm proposal, just think that behind it, there is a horrible little specky planner in a tweed jacket trying to stir up trouble and stop technology advancing across our new nation's landscape. Praise the windmills and turbines of the future! Down with Council planners!