Sunday 7 November 2010

The Orange Tide hits Edinburgh!

Rangers fans welcome the new development
You know, it isn't really surprising that Sir David Murray, owner of The Huns, the Sons of William and Govan's Finest, the Teddy Bears - otherwise known as Glasgow Rangers Football Club - is so keen to obliterate green belt on the west side of Edinburgh. Think about it in terms of Central Scotland sectarianism for a moment - Celtic and Hibernian FCs will have no answer to this. It isn't a coincidence that the roofs of his new development called Edinburgh's Garden District will be orange pantiles throughout. Connect these facts with the likelihood that the Purple Hun, Heart of Midlothian Football Club, may well be playing in a fantastic new stadium in the middle of the new housing scheme and you have a development which is the match of any in Scotland at the moment - with significant prominent exceptions of course.
the vast new Garden District from the air
Let's go back and look at this through my expert planners eyes. I noticed in the Press and Journal this week that people have been getting their knickers in a twist about this brave new development so what is it exactly? Well it's a vast new extension to Edinburgh that dwarfs other proposals around the city - mixed use of course. The main feature of this is a boulevard centrepiece designed for all sorts of ceremonial marching events but especially Orange Parades. Built on derelict green belt, the proposal will revitalise the whole of Edinburgh. All the right boxes have been ticked - sustainability, transport, lifestyle and economics - all wrapped up in a charette process. It's an amazing idea put together by the Reverend Andrew Duany who does most of the planning for big business in Scotland these days! Andy knows how to oil the wheels of industry!
unusually, the new development will have few roads
Now some might say that this proposal has no legs. But wait! Sir David has the endorsement of Scotland's Chief Planner, Wee Jimmy Mackinnon - already! It's a fantastic coo and sums up what I have been saying over the past few weeks - the need for planning permission is becoming increasingly redundant as all major developments are effectively being approved before planning applications are submitted. Look at the Great Dr Donald Trump saga at Menie or Union Terrace Gardens in Aberdeen - the epicentre of dynamic growth in Scotland, if not Europe.

It's a trend that knocks the conservationers for six and ushers in a whole New Enlightenment for Scotland in which the sandal-wearing lefty hippies are ground down and used as fertiliser. In the case of Edinburgh Garden District, Greenwash is replaced by Orangewash tricked out in red white and blue as Masonic Temples, homes for retired policemen, retreats for homosexual football referees and Orange Lodges punctuate the residential and retail plots with Union Jacks flying from every lamp post.
Chief Planner Wee Jimmy McKinnon - a lifelong Rangers fan
At the end of the day, kites may have been flown, but people with money and power will always know what is best and how to get it. It's obvious that Wee Jimmy Mackinnon is a powerful man anyway but it seems he is also a lifelong Rangers man - not that this has in any way swayed his judgement. So there you have it - full marks to everyone involved in another fantastic Scottish development stamped all over with excellence. Personally I can't wait to see it happen.

5 comments:

Frank said...

You're simply the best.

Dave Thompson said...

Thanks Frank - much appreciated!

Dave T

Anonymous said...

Was it not the revolting American religious idiot Pat Robertson who said "Scotland is a dark country run by homosexuals - you have no idea how strong they are in Scotland" - are you in some way related? I hope someday you get a big one up the ass till it hurts real bad.

Frank said...

I think it was that wonderful bastion of sense that is my father in law who said to me, sage-like

"some people have no sense of humour"

He was of course talking about mrs frank

Dave Thompson said...

Hello Frank and thanks for dropping in again! Much appreciate your involvement and hello to Mrs Frank too.

Dave T