Sunday, 30 August 2009

I'm tired of consultation - really I am

You know, I'm sick and tired of all the consultation that we planners have to do these days. Every time we want to do something, someone tells us we have to ask people what they think. It's inevitable that they won't like it so what's the point? Here's a photo of me and Mr and Mrs Macdonald - they live in a wee cottage next to Auchterness and it's a pretty run down sort of place. They're not very happy with our proposals to build a small recycling facility next to their house. If you ask me, the new brightly coloured skips will look much better than their property ever did.

For me, the issue is simple. We planners are the experts at what we do and most members of the public will never manage to comprehend the complexity of our world. Town planners always know what is best for a town and I find it annoying and insulting that nobody trusts us to do our jobs properly. Instead we are dragged out for evening meetings and have pointed fingers pressed into our chests by local ignoramuses like David Macdonald above (who also has very bad breath). The new planning system just introduced by Smart Alex and Wee Jimmy Mackinnon is almost the final straw for me.

But every cloud has a silver lining. One of the things I like about evening meetings with the public is the opportunity to meet comely young maidens who might have turned up to hear experts like myself telling them about the future of their homes. I dream that one day my evening meetings in Auchterness will be like the picture below.

Now that would be something! It gives me hope for the future. Hope that my expertise will be recognised by an appreciative audience and that planning can once again be a respected profession filled with beautiful people.

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