And now we start

The villagers invited Melvin Kurray to open the new public toilet opposite the post office. There was great excitement as the specially prepared Arriva bus was towed onto the site of the proposed Town Square by Angus Macdonald in his historic Allis Chalmers tractor - it's bright orange paintwork reflecting the hopes and aspirations of the majority of the local community.

Auchterness Regeneration Single Enterprise had decided to invest in basic infrastructure for the new town centre well in advance of any realistic prospect of development as we were advised by consultant economists that a public toilet was a very popular facility and would greatly increase the chances of a call centre coming to the town. Our property consultants Ridden from Edinburgh had a different view but wouldn't commit this to paper until we settled a disputed fee note.

Anyway I digress. Kurray delivered a prepared statement on his vision for the future of planning in Scotland. I must admit that it was one of the most breathtakingly self-serving pieces I have ever heard. Mind you, a burnt out career is always hard to cope with. But he was all we could afford. The locals applauded enthusiastically and were delighted to see such a splendid display of refreshments laid on. Afterwards, the rain started again and it took Angus a long time to get Kurray's bus back down to the main road. We were happy to see the back of him - as old Mrs Davidson said, "He is a pompous loon." Indeed.

I hope we are doing the right thing here. There is talk of a new tram line or light rail link being established around the bay but if Edinburgh struggles to get this sort of thing, what hope have we? I'm worried that some of the sheep might get hurt on the track.