Trump tees off - with Pampas Grass!

You know, the sheer brilliance and ingenuity of my hero the Great Donald Trump never ceases to amaze me. Flying in the face of the gypsies and thieves camped out on the site of what will be the Greatest Golf Course in the World, Donald has set about stabilising the useless sand dunes that harbour midges, newts and other pests that may distract the golfer on his way round God's Own Golf Course.

But guess what he is using? Maybe I've given the game away to you gardening types who will know the answer immediately. Yes - Pampas Grass! Fantastic! Now this is highly technical work - sand dunes can move and are quite dangerous in the wrong hands. They can destroy a golf course in certain wind conditions and can even envelope tees, a fairway or even a golfer himself, so it's entirely appropriate that this problem is dealt with before the first round is played. Pampas grass is the recognised answer to this problem.

But this is not just to do with technical issues - there is the question of style. No one will want to play on a golf course that looks like a stretch of old sand dunes with bits of fields in between so Donald and his servile architect Gareth Hopkins have come up with the idea of coloured Pampas Grass. This is a fantastic innovation and I must admit I'm beginning to see the value in using this guy Hopkins - if it his idea of course. Pink will bring a touch of colour too and of course it reminds me of the expensive negligee I bought my lovely wife in happier times. But pure suburban style from Donald and his team.

My final word on this tremendous news for Aberdeenshire and for all the inbred loons living in old railway coaches and black houses around Menie is that soon your pockets will be bulging with cash as the trickle-down effect of Trump's goodness flows into your bank accounts. Jobs in table service, polishing shoes, washing cars and clearing drains will make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. Fantastic! This is regeneration in action and a great victory for Scottish Town Planners.

Sponsorship pays off for the Scottish Planner

As my regular readers will know, I was mightily impressed with the new format for the Scottish Planner which came out in February of this year in a bi-monthly format - and in colour! For those of you who are unfortunate enough not to be qualified in town planning, the Scottish Planner - or the Journal of the RTPI in Scotland as it is subtitled - is usually an opportunity to keep up to date with the mind-dumbingly tedious gossip around the few folk who run the show in Scotland. But it also features articles by some of the greatest thinkers of our time - hardened professionals tempered by the fires of regeneration and property development.

In the current issue, the great Italian Planner Stefano Smith, Regional Director for Development and Design (Scotland and Ireland) at Halcrow Group Ltd, (what an impressive job title!) considers the next wave of business parks which will sweep over the economic landscape in the next few years, destroying small businesses and carving away at outmoded neighbourhoods like a knife through butter. This is a spanking article and a must-read in which planning in Dubai is mentioned - more than once! Halcrow really know what they are doing here and I'm filled with admiration for their deep dynamic thinking, their appreciation of transcendent themes and their blinding strategic innovation. I can't wait to see some real evidence of this on the ground, particularly in some of Scotland's smaller towns which have been waiting to be swept away like this for many years.

Now there is another important point here worth mentioning. Halcrow are sponsors of the Scottish Planner with Biggart Baillie LLP and together they have published an article in each of the issues since the new format was announced - three from Halcrow and two from Biggart Baillie. Some of my colleagues think this is corrupt and shameful - they are entitled to their opinion. Well my message to them is, "Let's have more please!" More news about business parks and less gossip and tittle-tattle will suit me fine. It is great that Halcrow have seized the moment and found a way to get their abundant skills across to the great unwashed of local council planners before other less worthy firms get a look-in. A great piece of work and my hearty congratulations to all those involved in this.

Glasgow Harbour leaves London reeling

No doubt you are all agog this week with the news that planning permission has been granted for a colossal £1.2bn retail and leisure development at Glasgow Harbour. To say I'm excited is of course an understatement - I am literally trembling with anticipation as I write this. Glasgow City Council has dealt London a critical blow by clearing the way for this fabulous proposal designed to make Peel Holdings and Clydeport even more incredibly rich - no bad thing considering that the quality of their existing development at Glasgow Harbour has been recognised as having changed the course of regeneration across the globe. Peel and Clydeport deserve every accolade for this outstanding project. So Glasgow will have more shopping malls than London once the doors of this beauty are open, knocking the UK capital for six in the retail Top of the Pops.

Glasgow City Council is a partner in the Glasgow Harbour project and of course has given itself permission for this development as we would expect - Wee Alex Salmond's folk just have to rubber stamp it though this will be a formality. Local retailers have predictably greeted this proposal with howls of protest but of course they will be the first to start filling up the shop units.

Just a few comments from my expert town planning perspective. This will be one of a new breed of retail centres where there is little or no public transport - like Braehead just across the river, it will be unique. So it's possible that the traditional city centre will become a twilight zone for an underclass of shoppers using buses, trains or the subway while normal people drive to Glasgow Harbour or Braehead - this is positive and reflects concerns about today's inclusiveness agenda and providing for minority groups. There's something for everyone in today's exciting retail offer!

Of course there is the subway station at Partick Cross (run by the amazing set up called SPT who I have praised before). No one is going to use that to get to Glasgow Harbour - well you can see how busy it is in the nice wee photie above. Likewise the so called Fastlink LRT system will never happen - that is just a clever invention by Clydeport to keep the planning application looking good to quiche-eating objectors, beggars and layabouts who want to derail the project. Another transport option is boats on the river and it's possible that in the future, some will sail to shop at Glasgow Harbour as the perspective below shows.

Personally I can't wait for this project to happen. It's a truly great proposal and reflects well on Glasgow City Council town planners for their vision and the breathtaking intellectual powers they have brought to bear on the Clyde's Regeneration. No wonder cities around the world are looking at Glasgow and saying, "Why didn't we do that?"

Ferry Village and Renfrew Riverside

One of the sparkling jewels in the crown of Glasgow's Clyde Waterfront regeneration is Renfrew Riverside. You can see in the wee photo above that it's like a scene from Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica. Braehead Shopping Centre and the Xscape look like UFOs that have landed in a car park - or perhaps they were shot down by one of the Royal Navy's finest destroyers in the course of refitting at BAE Systems across the river in Scotstoun! Either way, Welcome to the Clyde aliens!

I don't need to say much about Braehead that hasn't been said already - really, one of Scotland's top shopping centres and warm congratulations to the team from Glasgow City Council for promoting this golden nugget of retail heaven which includes Ikea, Comet, PC World and even Halfords.

Now this time, retail isn't the whole story. There is a small park designed by Ian White Associates - famously the landscape architects for the SECC just up river and what a splendid job they made of laying out the tarmac around that memorable work of architectural brilliance. Ian is a big favourite of property developers who want a simple low cost solution that doesn't get in the way of the buildings or car parks - he really bends over the drawing board to accommodate the biggest developers and is very much sought after.

But one of the star attractions for me is Ferry Village. The beautiful hand rendered drawing above by genius architects Young and Gault tells the whole story of untrampled loveliness envisioned for the future. This is an area around the Renfrew Ferry which once had a collection of derelict huts, ugly sheds and the like that used to be home to many small businesses and craftsman industries involved in repairing and storing boats. Doubtless there were also many scroungers and vagrants from Yoker - stowaways on the Renfrew Ferry - who had settled there in cardboard boxes, potentially spoiling the view from luxury flats.

Now with amazing foresight, the developers realised that this was undesirable in a waterfront regeneration scheme and got Clydeport (the dynamic team responsible for so much that is new and good on the Clyde) to kick them out, paving the way for some very attractive flats that will instantly appeal to the buy-to-rent market, divorced women and other people on social security. Called the Anchorage, this is a place of singular beauty and luxury - even though someone in the office said the interior looked like a bordello. The landscaping is simple and delightful as you can see below - eat your heart out Capability Brown!

It seems obvious to me that small businesses have no place on waterfronts of World Renown and it's ridiculous for people to kick up a fuss over their eviction. But the real twist in the tail is that having got rid of one second rate boatyard, there are now plans to have a proper marina nearby that will be exclusive and posh. That is lateral thinking and Edward de Bono himself would be proud of all the guys behind this incredibly clever and beautiful development. Isn't Scottish town planning truly magnificent?

Bathing and shopping in Aberdeen

You know, there's nothing quite like a bracing stroll along an esplanade on a windy October day and as part of the outing, being able to pop into B&Q to buy a chainsaw with which to attack that dangerous bit of woodland near your house. This unlikely combination of bucket-and-spade and DIY is one of the foundations on which the Beach Boulevard Retail Park in Aberdeen is built. Of course that isn't the only link up between beach orientated leisure and retail. Many Aberdonians like Whiskas sandwiches so it's really convenient to combine a trip to Pets at Home with an afternoon picnic on the Golden Sands of the Silver City - fantastic!

Like so many cities nowadays, Aberdeen has its Big Wheel or 'Eye' and by a amazing piece of town planning, this is located next to the retail park. So it makes sense to take a trip on the wheel to look down on the retail park and plan your shopping trip - a really thoughtful touch.

Now one of the ground-breaking innovations at this retail park is that it is below sea level as shown in the photograph below - that's the influence of our Dutch cousins across the sea - so it's good to get a touch of the continent in Aberdeen. In case of fire, the whole area can be quickly flooded.

All in all this is a wonderful environment for the 21st century bather or shopper. The unusual combination of sand and retail park must recall holidays in Las Vegas for some. For others it's a bit like Renfrew Riverside - but without the river. Who would have thought of this innovative location for a retail park? There must be some very clever planners in Aberdeen so my congratulations to them for this foresight and invention.

Inverurie goes global!

Now you might think that Inverurie is one of these dull Aberdeenshire towns where the residents are mostly inbred and have a limited vocabulary. In other words, a dump or as they might say there, a midden. Well that was once true but let me tell you that the town is really going places now! Yes, Inverurie has deepened its gene pool, burst open the green belt and let retail loose on the once green fields of Oldmeldrum Road - some people living there even speak English instead of grunting!

Although there is a glittering representation of top quality companies on display including Lidl, Argos and Homebase the real star in the heaven of the Inverurie Retail Park is Halfords. Unbelievable that such a quality store should come to such a backward area and completely reverse its fortunes but there you are - the magic world of Scottish property development is full of surprises. And it looks as though the very-much-in-love couple in the photo below are really thrilled too.

As you can see from the picture at the top of the page though, Tesco is just across the railway line from Halfords. This means of course that Inverurie town centre is now completely derelict - at least in terms of proper shops - although there will always be the coffee shops, candle and card shops run and frequented by frustrated middle class housewives that we've come to expect in second rate towns and villages like this - but they will be cleared out eventually.

So congratulations to Halfords, Inverurie Retail Park and those Masters of Gyproc, Stewart Milne Construction for this far sighted development which has completely turned the town around.

The best of contemporary Scottish house design!

You know, it's a beautiful crisp night here in Auchterness and I wouldn't be surprised if the temperature dropped to freezing point later on. It's got me thinking about winter again and the torture of Xmas alone with my thoughts during these long nights. Fortunately I have in my hands, the latest issue of Building Scotland. I've referred to this before in glowing terms and if anything, this highly professional and cutting edge magazine seems more lustrous and packed with fantastic articles than ever. The shiny cover beckons me towards a feast of avant-guard design like the fabulous house shown above.

Recalling the best of traditional Scottish Building combined with the latest ideas in precision timber frame construction this is a cracker. It will be at home in any Scottish landscape or even in a town, where it will seemlessly blend with older buildings - particularly in Conservation Areas or adjacent to Listed Buildings. One note of warning though - council planners may interfere with the purity of the design of this jewel of architecture during the planning application process and this may result in the building being changed for the worse. I've seen it happen many times. For example they may ask for the colour of brick to be changed or for the intricate carved timber work around the eaves to be painted a different colour. My advice is to defy them.

Here's another one - unbelievably stylish. I especially like the red steps up to the front door and the pointed trees in the front garden - the neighbours will be green with envy. Anyway, without a chimney in sight, this is about as modern as it gets in Scotland today. My hearty congratulations to the team who created these masterpieces of contemporary design and to Building Scotland for daring to publish such cutting edge material.

Now I will return to writing my comprehensive appreciations of the remaining developments which will make up my end of year list, which I'm calling the Auchterness Oscars. These will include Renfrew Riverside especially the gem they call Ferry Village, the Beach Boulevard Retail Park in Aberdeen and....wait for it.... Halfords at Inverurie. Mouthwatering.